Representation Through Humiliation

3/13/2005

You Are What You Read

Snagged from Cranky Liberal who snagged it from "Larry."

Newspapers

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the
country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the
country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run
the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the
country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do,
however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running
the country — if they could find the time — and if they didn’t
have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure
who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can
get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running
the country as long as they do something really scandalous,
preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another
country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure
there is a country … or that anyone is running it; but if so, they
oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if
the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who
also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy
provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
grocery store.

12. None of these is read by the guy who is running the country into
the ground.

[Rags and such]