Representation Through Humiliation

4/30/2005

JeffJames on Bill Maher

Jeff Gannon, I'm sorry... James Guckert... no wait..Jeff--er, in any case, the guy appeared on Real Time with Bill Maher Friday night. Our analysis of the interview:

Maher- "You saw the President's--Bush's press conference last night, you used to be in that press room... What did you think? What questions would you have asked?"

JJ- "Well I--I probably would have asked a question about, uh, border security... there's, uh... we've got a terrible problem on the Southern border, and, uh, the Minuteman Project that was just taking place there, uh, last month was very effective in, uh, stemming the tide of illegals, and, uh... I think that the President should've gotten behind it, and, uh, he should be asked why he hasn't been." Uh, I would've asked the President why he isn't endorsing Mexican hunting.

Maher- "So you would've asked him a tough question..." Um, you're lying I assume?

JJ- "Absolutely. I've asked lots of tough questions." In front of the mirror at home some times, y'know, just for kicks...

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Maher- "Why do you think, of all the--I mean, that's one of the most exclusive clubs in the world, the twenty or thirty people who get to sit there and ask the Leader of the Free World a question directly... Why do you think you were selected for that?" Who exactly did you have to sleep with to get into the press room?

JJ- "Well, there's lots of people who have that opportunity, uh, from various news services. Look, I'm--I'm a journalist, and I was able to be in the room and ask the questions." Acting more like a politician every day this guy: He's figured out how to answer a question without answering the question at all.

Maher- "But why among the thousands of journalists did they select you? I'm just asking..." Yes! Finally an anchor who will call them out on their b.s.

JJ- "Uh, I don't know the answer to that." If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

Maher- "Put it in your own words... about the controversy that had you exiting the press room after you had been there for a while." Don't spare a single juicy detail.

JJ- "Well what had happened was I had the opportunity to ask the President a question, and the question I asked him some liberals disagreed with, and I became "the news" after that and it was impossible for me to contine to be a reporter because I was the news." I lobbed softball questions at the President, feebly attempting to make him and me look good at the same time... Some of those America-hating liberals didn't like that, so I hear.

Maher- "OK, but why was it news? Was it news because you had a...job formally as a-- as an escort?"

JJ- "Well I--there's lots of allegations out there about things in my past and--none of it's relevant as far as my reporting goes."

Maher- "Well, okay... well-- It may not be relevant but I'm just saying, I'm thinking back to the Bill Clinton White House-- I didn't think it mattered that Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky were having an affair... I didn't think it mattered what went on in the White House... but they made a big case of the fact that there were a lot of visits-- (applause) --OK, we know--we know that's how you feel. Thanks you... Uh, but it came out this week, a Freedom of Information Request was granted, and you made three dozen visits, apparently to the White House at times when there were no press briefings going on. On fourteen occasions, the Secret Service had no record of your entry and exit times... What were you doing in the White House?"

JJ- "There's lots of things that go on at the White House when there aren't briefings. Apparently, this is where most of the nation's governing takes place... who knew? I've been to briefings with other administration officials... Condeleeza Rice...Alberto Gonzalez...Andy Card...Dan Bartlett... the infamous Republican name drop. I've gone down to the t-ball games on the South Lawn on Sunday afternoons in the summer. Yea, I was just being a reporter, attending t-ball games and--what!? A lot of times I would go down to the President when he was returning from a trip and stand along the rope line, trying to shout a question... That's what reporters do." Oh, is it? Huh...

Maher- "So all this time when you were in the White House with no press briefings going on... that's what you were doing?"

JJ- "I was being a reporter."

Maher- "OK, so you would say that you're on this show tonight because there was nothing else going on, that you were never engaged in any sort of personal business at the White House with any one who works in the White House?"

JJ- "Absolutely and unequivocally not." Technically, they weren't working...

Maher- "OK, well let's move on to your website "Hot Military Stud .com" (laugher, even from JJ.) What? Well, I didn't make that up, it says... you wrote 'I don't leave marks, only impressions...' (laughter, and scattered "Ooo!"'s) I'm just saying, if the Clinton White House-- if this had happened during the Clinton White House... if there was someone who had this in his past, who was now working in the Clinton White House, with rather dubious credentials, under a false name, don't you think they would have made a bigger thing of it under a Democratic Administration? Don't you think the Republicans would've--(applause) STOP IT!-- Don't you think the Republicans would've been all over that?" He needed to ask?

JJ- "Well, I don't know the answer top that... Here's a hint: say 'yes.' but usually the way it works is people become reporters before they prostitute themselves. (laughter) Natch. Very nice.

Maher- "Touche, Mr. Jim Gannon, (Paraphrasing:) I'm going to the White House Correspondents' Dinner tonight, why aren't you going?" I'm going and you're not na na na na naaaa na!

JJ- "...I was hoping that someone would look at me and say that 'Hey, here's a guy whose brought more attention to the White House Press Corps then they've had in decades, he should definitely be at the dinner.' But..." The attention in question being 'Hey, that WH Press Room is full of gay prostitutes donchaknow.'

Maher- "I would take you myself, but I'm already the date of Wolf Blitzer." (laughter)


The video's here.

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(Cross posted at BNN)