Daily Fry

Diet Posting

2006-04-12T20:02:00.000-04:00

Posting will be lighter than usual, being, that I am on vacation in VA; not that posting on The Fry is heavy, or anything like that.

Light and Fluffy

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Jesus Walked on Water. So what???

2006-04-06T16:45:00.000-04:00

The New Testament says that Jesus walked on water, but a Florida university professor believes there could be a less miraculous explanation -- he walked on a floating piece of ice.

Professor Doron Nof also theorized in the early 1990s that Moses's parting of the Red Sea had solid science behind it. Nof, a professor of oceanography at Florida State University, said on Tuesday that his study found an unusual combination of water and atmospheric conditions in what is now northern Israel could have led to ice formation on the Sea of Galilee.

Nof used records of the Mediterranean Sea's surface temperatures and statistical models to examine the dynamics of the Sea of Galilee, which Israelis know now as Lake Kinneret. The study found that a period of cooler temperatures in the area between 1,500 and 2,600 years ago could have included the decades in which Jesus lived.

A drop in temperature below freezing could have caused ice thick enough to support a human to form on the surface of the freshwater lake near the western shore, Nof said. It might have been nearly impossible for distant observers to see a piece of floating ice surrounded by water. Nof said he offered his study -- published in the April edition of the Journal of Paleolimnology -- as a "possible explanation" for Jesus' walk on water.

"If you ask me if I believe someone walked on water, no, I don't," Nof said. "Maybe somebody walked on the ice, I don't know. I believe that something natural was there that explains it. We leave to others the question of whether or not our research explains the biblical account." When he offered his theory 14 years ago that wind and sea conditions could explain the parting of the Red Sea, Nof said he received some hate mail, even though he noted that the idea could support the biblical description of the event.

And as his theory of Jesus' walk on ice began to circulate, he had more hate mail in his e-mail inbox.

"They asked me if I'm going to try next to explain the resurrection," he said.

The Son of The Big Guy

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Black Holes in Love

2006-04-06T16:44:00.000-04:00

Two supermassive black holes have been found to be spiraling toward a merger, astronomers said today.

The collision will create a single super-supermassive black hole capable of swallowing material equal to billions of stars, the researchers said.

Mergers between black holes are thought to be one way they grow. A handful of similar setups have been observed in which black holes appear inevitably on a merger course. This pair, at the center of a galaxy cluster called Abell 400, was known to be close but their fate hadn't been determined.

"The question was: Is this pair of supermassive black holes an old married couple, or just strangers passing in the night?" said Craig Sarazin of the University of Virginia.

"We now know that they are coupled, but more like the mating of black widow spiders. One of the black holes invariably will eat the other."

Black holes can't be seen. Their presence is inferred by their gravitational effects on their surroundings and by radiation from near the black hole, where a feeding frenzy superheats gas so much that it emits X-rays.

Determining that these two black holes will collide involved other indirect evidence, drawing data from NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory.

Each of the black holes in Abell 400 is ejecting a pair of oppositely directed jets of superheated gas called plasma. The movement of the black holes through gas in the galaxy cluster causes the plasma jets to be swept backward.

"The jets are similar to the contrails produced by planes as they fly through the air on Earth," Sarazin said. "From the contrails, we can determine where the planes have been, and in which direction they are going. What we see is that the jets are bent together and intertwined, which indicates that the pair of supermassive black holes are bound and moving together."

When the objects merge several million years from now, Einstein's theory of relativity predicts they will emit a burst of gravitational waves. Similar mergers could soon be detected by NASA's planned Laser Interferometer Space Antenna (LISA).

The results will be published in an upcoming issue of the journal Astronomy & Astrophysics.

Black Hole Love

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Random Facts of the Day

2006-04-06T16:40:00.000-04:00

April 5, 2006

• While 73 percent of elevators have a "door close" button, the button only works in eight percent of those elevators.

• Over the course of American history, more of the consumed saturated fat has been from peanuts than any other source.

• Prolonged erections are the leading cause of hypoxic brain damage among men.

• The FBI estimates that six percent of government workers are foreign spies.

• It would take an ant 500 feet tall to lift the Empire State building.

Real

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Random Facts of the Day

2006-04-06T16:39:00.000-04:00

April 4, 2006

• The Great Wall of China is 2,800 times more massive than the Great Pyramid of Giza.

• According to the biography Goebbels: Mastermind of the Third Reich by David Irving, Joseph Goebbels (Nazi Germany's Propaganda Minister) had acquired the nickname "gerbils" while studying at the University of Heidelberg.

• The French Parliament recently passed legislation mandating that cell phone ring tones used within France must be of either culturally-neutral tones or of songs either performed by or written by French citizens.

• Two of the three founding members of the Blue Man Group were previously in the '80s new-wave band Devo.

• While cardboard is of course "naturally" brown, post-recycled cardboard is actually off-white due to the bleach used during the pulping process and must be dyed brown to be acceptable to consumers.

Real

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Random Facts of the Day

2006-04-03T17:11:00.000-04:00

April 3, 2006

• Eight percent of "gunk" removed during a routine dentist appointment is bone matter.

• Nine state Departments of Motor Vehicles will skip a sequentially generated license plate if it contains the number "666."

• In 2004, three members of the Army Corps of Engineers created an electronic speaker which measured 150 feet around. The speaker was never used at full volume for fear of causing internal hemorrhaging to the developers.

• 62 percent of Oscar winners can be genealogically traced to a common great grandmother who was born in 12 A.D.

• Since 2000, the average price of a movie ticket has increased yearly by four times the rate of inflation.

Real

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Random Facts of the Day

2006-04-03T17:06:00.000-04:00

April 2, 2006

• In a 2004 study by OSHA, it was discovered that people who will "usually" eat food that they've accidentally dropped on the floor report having 18 percent fewer sick days from work than those who "never" do that.

• The oldest continuously-played Dungeons & Dragons character is believed to be a 237th level magic-user named Kirin Blade. Tom Darcy started his character in 1979, and has played the game every weekend since then for an estimated total of 22,500 hours.

• Windows NT was so named because the letters "NT" follow "MS", which is an abbreviation for Microsoft. Windows XP follows a similar convention, where the letters "XP" follow "WN", being an abbreviation for Windows.

• Due to the damming of the Yangtze River in China, the freshwater umber whale (which is roughly two-thirds the size of its saltwater cousins) has been added to the endangered species list.

• The Popeye's "New Orleans style" chicken restaurant chain saw their nationwide revenue increase by 27 percent in the two months following Hurricane Katrina.

Real

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Living on Earth: 3/31/06

2006-04-01T17:29:00.000-05:00

Pick up your free audio (mp3 format) copy of this week's Living on Earth program here.

Living on Earth (LOE) with Steve Curwood is the weekly environmental news and information program distributed by National Public Radio (NPR). Every week approximately 300 National Public Radio stations broadcast Living on Earth's news, features, interviews and commentary on a broad range of ecological issues. The show airs in 9 of the 10 top radio markets and reaches 80% of the US.

L.O.E.

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Harvard says "Prayers Don't Work"

2006-04-01T16:30:00.000-05:00

A study of more than 1,800 patients who underwent heart bypass surgery has failed to show that prayers specially organized for their recovery had any impact, researchers said Thursday.

In fact, the study found some of the patients who knew they were being prayed for did worse than others who were only told they might be prayed for -- though those who did the study said they could not explain why.

The patients in the study at six U.S. hospitals included 604 who were actually prayed for after being told they might or might not be; another 597 patients who were not prayed for after being told they might or might not be; and a group of 601 who were prayed for and told they would be the subject of such prayer.

The praying was done by members of three Christian groups in monasteries and elsewhere -- two Catholic and one Protestant -- who were given written prayers and the first name and initial of the last name of the prayer subjects. The prayers started on the eve of or day of surgery and lasted for two weeks.

Among the first group -- who were prayed for but only told they might be -- 52 percent had post-surgical complications compared to 51 percent in the second group, the ones who were not prayed for though told they might be. In the third group, who knew they were being prayed for, 59 percent had complications.

After 30 days, however, the death rates and incidence of major complications was about the same across all three groups, said the study published in the American Heart Journal.

Will I stop praying? No. How about you? Take the poll below!

Prayer Power

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SurfControl: Access Denied

2006-04-01T15:43:00.000-05:00

Posting on The Daily fry is going to be much lighter than it has been because my high school has re-programmed SurfControl, the lovely internet usage filter and content blocker, blocking Blogger.com and all sites derived from the site (i.e.: site.blogspot.com).

SurfControl: Access Denied

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Random Facts of the Day

2006-04-01T15:41:00.000-05:00

• A cat is twice as likely to be fatally injured if it falls between two and six stories, than if it falls seven to 32 stories.

• In the 1893 case Nix v. Hedden, the United States Supreme Court ruled that the tomato is a vegetable.

• The chocolate chip cookie was invented in 1930 by Ruth Wakefield. It gained renown when it was featured on the packaging for Nestle chocolate.

• Originally, Twinkies were produced with banana filling, but this was replaced with a vanilla filling due to the rationing of bananas during World War II.

• In a race for Virginia House of Burgesses, George Washington's campaign gave away 160 gallons of alcohol on election day, about a quart and a half per voter.

All facts are provided by Gullible.info

Real

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April Fools Day

2006-03-31T16:59:00.000-05:00

We interrupt ourselves for a Buzz Public Service moment: You survived the Ides of March, now look out for the first of April. That's April Fools' Day to unsuspecting victims, up 247% in Search. The day given wholeheartedly to tomfoolery falls on a Saturday this year. As the annual mischief is often aimed at figures of authority, bosses and teachers may have to watch their backs a day early, or even on Monday.

Pranksters have been researching how to perform "jokes" (+1,118%) and "pranks" (off the charts), as well as "gags," "greetings," "tricks," and "recipes." Straightforward queries all, but conducted by unusual suspects: Females drive about 75% of April foolishness, and preadolescent girl are the primary Search instigators.

Even those who don't fit the Puckish type can observe the occasion, as the quirkier queries below reveal. So listen for every creak and step... watch for every drawer or door left ajar... heed every girlish giggle ...

To see seom good pranks, check out: http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/561/feeling-april-foolish

[tagname]

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Random Facts of the Day

2006-03-31T16:44:00.000-05:00

March 30, 2006

• There are twice as many blinds sold in the US every year as curtains.

• Three out of seven Americans wake up with "mild to moderate" back pain.

• For a six month period in his early twenties, actor George Clooney taught drivers' education in Willmington, Wisconsin.

• During the building of the Panama Canal, 17 species of panda became extinct in an attempt to rid the area of disease causing mosquitoes.

• A person between the ages of 12 and 20 slams nine times more doors in a given year than people in any other age bracket.

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Grandma??? No sweetie, call me Mommy.

2006-02-20T12:21:00.000-05:00

A 62-year-old woman gave birth Friday to a healthy 6-pound, 9-ounce baby boy, becoming one of the oldest women in the world to successfully bear a child.

Janise Wulf gave birth to her 12th child. She is also a grandmother of 20 and a great-grandmother of three.

Family members said the delivery went smoothly, despite earlier concerns about the mother's health. Wulf, a diabetic, experienced swelling and higher blood pressure earlier this week, prompting doctors to perform the Caesarean section a week early.

Wulf and her third husband, Scott, 48, named the red-haired boy Adam Charles Wulf. He follows just 3 1/2 years behind his older brother, Ian.

"I hate to raise one alone, without a sibling," said Wulf, who was impregnated both times through in vitro fertilization.

The oldest woman on record to give birth is a 66-year-old Adriana Iliescu of Romania, who had a Caesarean section Jan. 15, 2005.

The Guinness Book of World Records also lists two 63-year-old women who have given birth: Rosanna Della Corte of Italy in 1994 and Acheli Keh of California in 1996. News reports, however, list Della Corte's age at 62 when she gave birth.

[world record]+[15lb sledgehammer]=. . .

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Republican Friendly Fire

2006-02-12T16:48:00.000-05:00

Harry Whittington, 78, was "alert and doing fine" after Cheney sprayed him with shotgun pellets on Saturday while the two were hunting at the Armstrong Ranch in south Texas, said property owner Katharine Armstrong.

Armstrong said Whittington was mostly injured on his right side, with the pellets hitting his cheek, neck and chest, and was taken to the hospital by ambulance.

Whittington was in stable condition Sunday, said Yvonne Wheeler, spokeswoman for the Christus Spohn Health System.

Cheney's spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, said the vice president was with Whittington, a lawyer from Austin, Texas, and his wife at the hospital on Sunday afternoon.

Armstrong said she was watching from a car while Cheney, Whittington and another hunter got out of the vehicle to shot at a covey of quail late afternoon on Saturday.

Whittington shot a bird and went to look for it in the tall grass, while Cheney and the third hunter walked to another spot and found a second covey.

Whittington "came up from behind the vice president and the other hunter and didn't signal them or indicate to them or announce himself," Armstrong told the Associated Press in an interview.

"The vice president didn't see him," she continued. "The covey flushed and the vice president picked out a bird and was following it and shot. And by god, Harry was in the line of fire and got peppered pretty good."

Ahh! You shot me Dick!

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The World's Most Cheesiet Champ

2006-02-02T15:52:00.000-05:00

A 100-pound woman ate 26 grilled cheese sandwiches in 10 minutes Wednesday at a New York restaurant, winning the World Grilled Cheese Eating Championship.

Sonya Thomas won $8,000 for the contest at the Planet Hollywood restaurant in Times Square but said she was disappointed in her performance.

"I could have done better," she said, adding that she was aiming for 30 sandwiches.

Thomas, of Alexandria, Va., said she had to catch a train shortly after the contest to make her shift at a Burger King on Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland, where she is a manager.

She said she has a naturally big stomach capacity and heavily soaked her sandwiches in water to make them easier to swallow. She said to train she drinks large amounts of water to expand her stomach capacity and practices relaxing her throat.

Thomas, whose normal weight is about 100 pounds, estimated she gained 10 pounds during Wednesday's contest.

It was a close win. Her nearest competitor, Joey Chestnut, ate 25 1/2 sandwiches.

On the eating contest circuit, Thomas is known as the "Black Widow," apparently because she has defeated so many larger men.

She holds numerous world eating records, including 46 dozen oysters in 10 minutes, 11 pounds of cheesecake in 9 minutes, 48 chicken tacos in 11 minutes, 37 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes and 56 hamburgers in 8 minutes.

The event was organized by GoldenPalace.com, an Internet casino and poker room.

Contact Guinness

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Family Guy Clip of the Week

2006-01-14T15:12:00.000-05:00

Here's your Family Guy clip of the week. Here it is. . ."PUKE"

Not now Peter. . .I'm holding iced tea

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New Jersey Picks a Slogan: Come Read It for Yourself

2006-01-13T12:54:00.000-05:00

Of 11,227 votes cast online and over the phone between Dec. 21 and Jan. 8, the winning slogan logged 3,373, Acting Gov. Richard J Codey said.

Jeffrey Antman of Passaic, who was credited with submitting the winning slogan first, will receive a two-night stay at Crystal Springs Golf and Spa Resort in Vernon and two tickets to either an upcoming New Jersey Nets basketball or New Jersey Devils hockey game.

The winning slogan beat out the following finalists:

New Jersey: Expect the Unexpected.
New Jersey: Love at First Sight.
New Jersey: The Real Deal.
New Jersey: The Best Kept Secret.

The Garden State

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The USCPSC Wraps Up 2005

2006-01-10T17:55:00.000-05:00

The United States Consumer Product Safety Commission has released a list of 2005's highest hospitalizations caused by product-related injuries and how many injuries there caused. Here it is:

At the top of the list were:

Sharp Objects: 1,204,550

Balls: 1,001,440

Electronic Devices:975,860

Christmas Lights:900,660

Towards the bottom of the list were:

Pillows: 5,500

Erasers: 4,650

Pencils: 2,700

Moving Objects: 2,250

Pillows???

Things that cause us all pain

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Jesus Brought To Court on Charges of. . . Malpractice of Existence???

2006-01-10T17:28:00.000-05:00

An age-old debate between Christian believers and others may be settled before a judge in the Italian court system. A Washington Times story reports that Luigi Cascioli, author of "The Fable of Christ," claims he has "proved" that Jesus never existed.

He is now suing a local priest, Enrico Righi, for continuing to preach the Gospel that claims he did. Both plaintiff and defendant are in their 70s, hailing from the same Italian town of Bagnoregio; they even attended the same seminary school as teenagers. While Righi became a priest and parish newspaper writer, Cascioli became an atheist, and wrote his book with the intention of debunking two millennia of Catholic teachings. "I started this lawsuit," he reportedly says, "because I wanted to deal the final blow against the church, the bearer of obscurantism and regression."

He is charging Father Righi, and by extension the Roman church, with breaking a pair of Italian laws: "Abuso di Credulita Popolare" ("Abuse of Popular Belief"), meant to protect citizens against being swindled or conned; and "Sostituzione di Persona" (impersonation). A January 27 preliminary hearing will decide whether or not the case goes forward.

He saved us from our sins

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(Almost) Daily Roundup

2006-01-09T09:36:00.000-05:00

Here's alist of some websites worth The Fry's mentioning:

Find almost any CD or DVD cover

Need Advertising Space???

Want some tunes?

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Only 999 Pennies To Go

2006-01-08T17:48:00.000-05:00

A Canadian credit card holder is putting a new twist on an old trick practiced by disgruntled debtors -- repaying his bill in pennies to maximize the collector's inconvenience.

Unhappy when his Canadian bank began outsourcing some of its credit card processing to the United States, the man lodged his protest via the bank's online payment system, jamming its computers by making dozens of tiny payments a day.

Don Rogers said he was worried that anti-terrorism laws in the United States could allow the U.S. government to access his data without his consent.

"I don't want the CIA or George Bush to know how many cases of Viagra I bought last week, or what church or charities I donate to," he told Reuters.

Rogers said his card has since been canceled by Vancouver-based Citizens Bank, but he will continue paying his remaining balance of C$1,000 ($860) one little bit at a time.

"More and more our personal information is being rendered into digital formats and zips around the world," he said, adding that any credit card data sent to the United States is subject to U.S. law.

Roger's initial attempt at paying in pennies produced a statement over 32 feet long, according to media reports.

1000, 999, 998, 997. . .

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Think Twice Before Laying Out Those Mousetraps

2006-01-08T17:34:00.000-05:00

A mouse got its revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves. The blazing creature ran back to the man's house and set it on fire.

Luciano Mares, 81 of Fort Sumner, New Mexico said he caught the mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it.

"I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house," Mares said from a motel room Saturday.

Village Fire Chief Juan Chavez said the burning mouse ran to just beneath a window, and the flames spread up from there and throughout the house.

No was hurt inside, but the home and everything in it was destroyed.

Flaming Rodents

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The Feminine Side of Christmas

2006-01-06T09:53:00.000-05:00

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them; Dasher, and Dancer, and Prancer, and Vixen, Comet, and Cupid, and Donner, and Blitzen, and even the most famous reindeer of all Rudolph, had to be a girl.

We should've known... only WOMEN would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Flying Mammals

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Iran: The New Concern

2005-12-19T17:12:00.000-05:00

Today, though, the sounds of hip-hop can be heard blaring from car radios in Tehran's streets, and Eric Clapton's "Rush" and the Eagles' "Hotel California" regularly accompany Iranian broadcasts.

No more — the official IRAN Persian daily reported Monday that Ahmadinejad, as head of the Supreme Cultural Revolutionary Council, ordered the enactment of an October ruling by the council to ban all Western music, including classical music, on state broadcast outlets.

"Blocking indecent and Western music from the Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting is required," according to a statement on the council's official Web site. Iranian guitarist Babak Riahipour lamented what he called a "terrible" decision. "The decision shows a lack of knowledge and experience," he said. Music was outlawed by Khomeini soon after the 1979 revolution. Many musicians went abroad and built an Iranian music industry in Los Angeles. But as revolutionary fervor started to fade, some light classical music was allowed on Iranian radio and television; some public concerts reappeared in the late 1980s.

In the 1990s, particularly during the presidency of reformist Mohammad Khatami starting in 1997, authorities began relaxing restrictions further. These days in Iran, Western music, films and clothing are widely available in Iran. Bootleg videos and DVDs of films banned by the state are widely available on the black market. Ahmadinejad's order means the state broadcasting authority must execute the decree and prepare a report on its implementation within six months, according to the IRAN Persian daily.

Earlier this month, Ali Rahbari, conductor of Tehran's symphony orchestra, resigned and left Iran to protest the treatment of the music industry in Iran. Before leaving, he played Beethoven's Ninth Symphony to packed Tehran theater houses over several nights last month — its first performance in Tehran since the 1979 revolution. The performances angered many conservatives and prompted newspaper columns accusing Rahbari of promoting Western values.

The ban applies to state-run radio and TV. But Iranians with satellite dishes can get broadcasts originating outside the country. Ahmadinejad won office in August on a platform of reverting to ultraconservative principles, following the eight years of reformist-led rule under Khatami. During his presidential campaign, Ahmadinejad also promised to confront what he called the Western cultural invasion of Iran and promote Islamic values. Since then, Ahmadinejad has jettisoned Iran's moderation in foreign policy and pursued a purge in the government, replacing pragmatic veterans with former military commanders and inexperienced religious hard-liners. He also has issued stinging criticisms of Israel, calling for the Jewish state to be "wiped off the map" and describing the Nazi Holocaust as a "myth."

International concerns are high over Iran's nuclear program, with the United States accusing Tehran of pursuing an atomic weapons program. Iran denies the claims. The latest media ban also includes censorship of content of films. "Supervision of content from films, TV series and their voice-overs is emphasized in order to support spiritual cinema and to eliminate triteness and violence," the council said in a statement on its Web site. The council has also issued a ban on foreign movies that promote "arrogant powers," an apparent reference to the United States. The probibitions mirror those imposed in neighboring Afghanistan during the Taliban regime, which imposed a strict version of Islamic law, including a ban on music and film. The Taliban was ousted by a U.S.-led coalition in late 2001.

What Those Iranians Are Missing Out On

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16lb Growth Removed From Face

2005-12-15T17:54:00.000-05:00

Marlie Casseus, 14, a Haitian girl who has a 16-pound (7.26 kg) tumor-like growth on her face. Casseus, who has a genetic condition that causes deformity in her bones, has undergone surgery on December 14, 2005 at Holtz Children's Hospital , part of the University of Miami/Jackson Memorial Medical Center in Florida. Casseus' case received global media attention, motivating thousands of people from across the globe to donate to the International Kids Fund which is sponsoring her medical care at the public hospital, part of the University of Miami/Jackson Memorial Medical Center.

Click this link to view pictures
(Due to the graphic nature of the photos, viewer discretion is advised)

Thigns that go wrong with our bodies

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See You Next Fall

2005-12-13T14:56:00.000-05:00

Watch The ABC News Video

Shana Richardson, in her first solo, skydiving attempt survived the fall when her primary and secondary parachutes failed to open. Her face was "eggshelled" as Richardson put it and several broken bones throughout her body.

Watch the ABC News video by clicking on the link at the top of this post.

Geranimo!

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Hasta la vista. . .Tookie

2005-12-13T12:59:00.000-05:00

Stanley Tookie Williams maintained his innocence right up until his death, even when an admission of guilt may have spared him execution.

Even after the courts and Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger rejected a flurry of Williams' last-ditch appeals before his execution early Tuesday, his supporters vowed to prove his innocence.

Williams, the Crips gang co-founder whose case stirred a national debate about capital punishment versus the possibility of redemption, was executed Tuesday morning for killing four people in 1979.

Williams, 51, died at 12:35 a.m. Officials at San Quentin State Prison seemed to have trouble injecting the lethal mixture into his muscular arm. As they struggled to find a vein, Williams looked up repeatedly and appeared frustrated, shaking his head at supporters and other witnesses.

"You doing that right?" it sounded as if he asked one of the men with a needle.

After he was declared dead, his supporters shouted in unison: "The state of California just killed an innocent man," as they walked out of the chamber.

Lora Owens, stepmother of one of the four people Williams was convicted of killing witnessed the execution. "I believe it was a just punishment long overdue," she told ABC's "Good Morning America."

Williams' case became one of the nation's biggest death-row cause celebres in decades, with Hollywood stars and capital punishment foes arguing that Williams' sentence should be commuted to life in prison because he had made amends by writing children's books about the dangers of gangs and violence.

His execution also drew fierce criticism in Europe, where politicians in Schwarzenegger's native Austria called for his name to be removed from a sports stadium in his hometown.

"Schwarzenegger has a lot of muscles, but apparently not much heart," said Julien Dray, spokesman for the Socialist Party in France, where the death penalty was abolished in 1981.

Williams became the 12th person executed in California since lawmakers reinstated the death penalty in 1977.

Arhnold's Tookie

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Another Day In Court

2005-12-13T12:52:00.000-05:00

On Monday, Saddam Hussein was in court listening to witness’ recollections of the days of Saddam’s reign of terror. After all accounts of the beating torture and sexual humiliation, Saddam decided that he had enough. He burst into rage and fury, telling the judge to “go to hell” and that he refused to continue with the court proceedings.

Saddam sees the proceedings, in my opinion, as a waste of time and that he would just rather die than having to sit through the court process. During basically all of the hearings, he will burst into a rage, ranting and raving over them. He complains of being tired, deprivation of shower opportunities, change of clothes, and personal time to exercise and smoke.

Being blamed for over 140 deaths, I feel, is an absurd amount of people who’s lack of life is your doing.

The Ace of Spades

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[the latest] IPOD's....Are they really worth it???

2005-12-03T17:58:00.000-05:00

The latest IPOD has been released. Its name??? iPOD 60GB and it sells for about $399. 60 gigs...... that's more storage than 20 Sony IVAOs. 60gbs means that the iPOD can hold around 15,000 songs, 150 hours of video, and 25,000 color photos. Forget the amount of video and photos and look at the number of songs again; 15,000. Can you name 15,000 songs??? It would take you an entire lifetime of NON-STOP music listening to listen to 15,000 songs and countless years downloading them. So....would you buy a piece of non-savy machinary that would consume your entire lifetime, or spend those hard earned Washingtons on a less "dense" iPOD such as the Nano which holds around 500 and sells for $199 ($179 if you're in college).

It's your money.

Oh! I know: A lot more than it should've!

2005-09-23T15:22:00.000-04:00

The Pentagon has no accurate knowledge of the cost of military operations in Iraq, Afghanistan or the fight against terrorism, limiting Congress's ability to oversee spending, the Government Accountability Office concluded in a report released yesterday.

Um... yea, we leave these kind of things to the finance department. Unfortunately, we don't have enough money to buy them calculators... let's not point fingers, ok?

[What has five sides and plays lap dog to the President? Oh, you've heard that one before...]

Ratings

2005-08-23T13:20:00.000-04:00

Well, Bush's approval ratings are still dropping, but The Fry's ratings can go nowhere but up! After not posting for over a week, ("I was busy!"), I'm kind of getting back into the swing of things, so you may see me updating, or you may not. You'll just have to stick around and see, won't you? Oh, and thanks to everyone who has given this humble blog over 5000 page views, I am truly honored.

[King George goes Polling]

We're Eloping to Cyberspace

2005-08-14T12:01:00.000-04:00

Apparently ,due to a loophole in Texas marital law, two people can be married via blog, providing they "publicly declare that they consider each other as spouses and this fact be known to other residents of the state of Texas."

So on August fifth, Eric and Kathleen were married by blog.

Shoot off an email of congratulations to the happy couple.

[We're Gathered Here Today...]

America's Next Top Model

2005-08-14T11:36:00.000-04:00

Work it Condi! Work it! I really like that color on you, Cond! Go! Go! No don't stop now! Show me your runway strut!

[Would You Like Rice With That?]

Powell: "Good God, Man!"

2005-07-31T13:43:00.000-04:00

Hehehe, you actually pulled my finger...

[Turdblossom]

Spam Roundup: The Ten Dollar Edition

2005-07-27T20:42:00.000-04:00

Cleaning out your inbox...with style!

-McDonald's or BK? [dangles $10 bill in front of face] C'mon champ, make the decision of your life!

-We think this 10 dollar ho is ultra sexy! Wanna date her?

-Wanna work in a $10/hour job that requires no effort at all? Just send your name, credit card numbers, shirt size, location, and social security numbers to this address!

-Want to make ten dollars right now? Tough!

[Spam on Toast]

All in a Huff

2005-07-27T19:24:00.000-04:00

Contact Music (via Wonkette):

SIMPSON UPSET ABOUT MISSING IRAQ FOOTAGE
JESSICA SIMPSON wants to know where missing footage of her and husband NICK LACHEY's harrowing trip to Iraq got to - because she thinks Americans would like to see just how bad conditions are there.

Translation: The slutty diva-cum-reality star (well, one of them) is all in a huff over missing footage of her hot, shirtless hubby leaping over sand dunes and playing commando in the deserts of Iraq- because she thinks Americans would like to buy it on DVD.

[Divas at Large]

Do it the FOX Way for Once!

2005-07-26T22:03:00.000-04:00

Campus Progress is holding a competition of the fakest to see who can come up with the most outrageous misinterpretation of a famous quote by a political figure.

Ex:

President Roosevelt Encourages Americans to ÂBe AfraidÂ
Americans were shocked this week to hear President Roosevelt, in his inaugural address, provide ample support to terrorists by declaring that the nation should be terrified of all things around them. Americans should even be afraid, stated the President, Âof fear itself.Â

King tells Capital throng: who you are depends on your favorite cartoon character Â Speculation that southerners Goofy, Yosemite Sam will join Selma march
ÂI have a dream,Â King said, Âthat my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.Â

I couldn't resist:

Pres. Washington Calls Government Stubborn and Rude, then Suggests Burning It to the Ground

Reagan Blames You for The Poor State of the Country and Wishes You a 'Brief Time (sic) on Earth.'

I realize I could do a lot better, but I'm tired and lazy, so try it yourself and put it in the comments.

[Misinterpret This!]

Politician Look-Alikes

2005-07-25T21:53:00.000-04:00

Humpty Dumpty never scared us so much...

[Egg's on You, Dick]

Kiss Up & Criticize: Kaiser Chiefs' "Employment"

2005-07-24T18:01:00.000-04:00

Alright, it's finally come time to actually review the CD from the band I've been ranting about to my friends, family, and complete strangers I pass on the street for the past month or so. Kaiser Chiefs! I've Rated two of their songs:

1) Every Day I Love You Less and Less

Starts the album off really strong with this ballad of love being transformed into hatred. Very funny song about the feeling all of us have gotten somewhere along the line: The sensation of falling out of love.

2) I Predict A Riot

Head-banging ode to the Leeds nightlife. Marvelously clever lyrics.

John Roberts Gay?

2005-07-24T13:32:00.000-04:00

No. Not really, but take a gander at this photo of him sporting the plaid flares.

Suspicious... Well, no. Not really. What really happened is that an NYT slide show depicting Roberts' boyhood days was causing controversy among bloggers:

Power Line:

They Were Already Beneath Contempt...

...but now some Democrats have sunk lower. They are hinting that John Roberts is a homosexual because he was once photographed--more than thirty years ago--wearing plaid pants.

Wonkette:

Wonkette operatives have alerted us to some details in John G. Roberts background. We're not making any conclusions here -- we wouldn't want to comment on an ongoing investigation -- we're just laying out the facts: He is a graduate of an all-boys Catholic school where, as a member of the wrestling team, he regularly grappled with other sweaty, repressed boys. That is when he wasn't the drama club playing Peppermint Patty, for God's sake. He was also an editor of the school newspaper, "The Torch."

Reasoned Audacity:

They think that they can undermine support for someone among conservatives if they can dredge up some sort of homosexual connection -- or, in this case, just the manufactured whiff of a question.

Manhattan Offender:

My early years were very similar and, dude, I'm a total 'mo.

Althouse:

[T]he same notion crossed my mind. I do think the NYT piece was subtly constructed to plant this idea. Just look at the series of photographs they chose. (sic)

Alas:

[T]here's no point in paying any attention to conservative critiques of the Times anymore. No matter how innocent the Times is, conservatives (and even some conservative-friendly moderates like Ann) will find malice in what the Times does - no matter how ludicrous they're being, and no matter how little evidence they have.

Their choice of pictures and captions for the show is rather interesting...

For instance, check out the caption for the aforementioned plaid pants picture:

Judge Roberts in a yearbook photo from his days at La Lumiere, an all-boys boarding school in LaPorte, Ind.

(emphasis mine)

Or for Slide Number Four, when NYT pointed out that Roberts had played the character of Peppermint Patty, a girl, in his boarding school play.

They also show him with his football and wrestling teammates, possibly suggesting he had a thing for the jocks?

The last slide depicts him embracing a group of men in a wedding photo.

Now in no way am I insinuating that John Roberts is gay. John Roberts is most likely not but perhaps and it would be OK even if he was gay. You heard it here first.

[SCOTUS Goes Fishing]

It would be a start...

2005-07-24T13:14:00.000-04:00

Today's Doonsebury caught my eye:

[Doonesbury]

Coincidence?

2005-07-23T12:14:00.000-04:00

President Bush named federal appeals judge John G. Roberts Jr. to fill the first Supreme Court vacancy in a decade [on July 19], delighting Republicans and unsettling Democrats by picking a young jurist of impeccably conservative credentials.

July 19... Hmmm, wasn't that just a few days after Rove was outed as the source of the Valerie Plame leak? Was the White House trying to get the country's minds off of that scandal by making the SCOTUS nomination a full week earlier than expected? Or is it just some crazy coincidence, as most things in Washington are... Iran/Contra, various illegal covert wars, Watergate... All coincidence.

[SCOTUS Goes Fishing]

Rove Outed by Cooper because He Outed Plame, Rove, not Cooper...

2005-07-12T21:31:00.000-04:00

This probably won't post for a couple days because of this damn Blogger service and the tech guys who refuse to give me a straight answer as to what jthe problem is and how they/I can fix it. Whatver. I justed wanted to have it on the record that I, in fact, did cover this story, possibly the biggest political scandal since Watergate.

Alright, let me break this down for you: Rove leaked the identity of Valery Plame to the press in an interview with Matthew Cooper. George W. Bush said (most recently during the G8 conference) that he would fire anyone in his staff connected to the leak. It is discoverered through Matthew Copper's recent confession of his sources that Karl Rove, Bush's chief advisor and the man currently pupetteering the President with one hand and twirling the country around his little finger on the other. Hearing this, the White House's official responce was... silence. And then they said, 'Well, you should trust the White House staff, donchaknow...'

In conclusion, Rove will not be fired for revealing the identity and endangering the life of a CIA operative and the country will soon forget this ever happened and be lulled once again into a false sense of security and happily ever after until we are blinsided by a nuke or something because someone in the WH pulled the last straw. KERPLUNK!

(Cross posted at BNN)

[Call A Plumber]

NJ Carnival of Bloggers

2005-07-11T01:05:00.000-04:00

Ukrainian vampires strap kids down, keep them high on glue and take their blood. The Daily Fry provides commentary. Good thing “there was no violence involved.”

This week, Daily Fry was featured in the Carnival of NJ Bloggers, hosted by Cripes, Suzette! Where we were renowned for our "commentary." I knew all along that it wasn't mindless banter at all! Next stop: full-fledged journalism!

Many thanks to Suzette for contacting me with this wonderful oppurtunity, I'm working on hosting the Carnival right here at the Fry sometime in the near future, so be on the lookout!

[Carnival! Funny... this is nothing like my childhood memories...]

Billmon on London

2005-07-07T11:31:00.000-04:00

I would just like to point out this terrific essay just posted at Billmon and suggest that you read it as it is the best piece on the London bombing and the expected media aftermath I have seen thus far.

[Terror]

It Sounded Fine Just Yesterday...

2005-07-07T10:51:00.000-04:00

Falling in line with Wonkette's "Headlines that Sounded Just Fine 12 Hours Ago," I'd like to take note of one of my own headline blooper from yesterday, "London Smackdown." I apologize if that offended anyone, mand in retrospect, I probably would have named it something a tad different. Seeing that was the only smile I've had all morning, though, so I'm leaving it as is.

[Terror]

London Update

2005-07-07T09:58:00.000-04:00

Now there are reports that over 40 people have been killed today's terror attacks in London. This is significantly more than the previously anticipated 2, but there are majar disagreements in the press over the death toll. Many major sources still stick to the previous reports of just two deaths.

At any rate, a minute-by-minute timeline of this morning's events has been posted to CNN.

[Terror]

Bombings in London

2005-07-07T09:19:00.000-04:00

At least two people have been killed and hundreds injured in the wake of this morning's London subway and bus bombings.

Home Sec. Charles Clarke said the explosions occurred between Aldgate East and Liverpool Street tube stations; between Russell Square and King's Cross tube stations; at Edgware Road tube station; and on a bus at Tavistock Square.

An Islamist site has claimed responsibility for the bombs and it is suspected the al-Qaeda were involved.

Paul Woodrow, of the London Ambulance Service notes that, "Although we cannot confirm casualties - it is too early - we are dealing with large numbers of casualties."

It has been called a "cowardly attack," "indiscriminate," and "particularly barbaric" by British officials.

(Cross posted at BNN)

-BBC story

[Terror]

Skid. Crash. Thud. Ouch.

2005-07-06T16:37:00.000-04:00

Yahoo! via Sploid:

President Bush collided with a local police officer and fell during a bike ride on the grounds of the Gleneagles golf resort while attending a meeting of world leaders Wednesday.

Bush suffered scrapes on his hands and arms that required bandages by the White House physician, said White House spokesman Scott McClellan.

The police officer was taken to a local hospital as a precaution, McClellan said. Police said the officer suffered a "very minor" ankle injury.

It was raining lightly at the time.

Damn straight it was raining! The President of the United States of America just collided with an officer of the law causing him to go to the hospital! Even if it wasn't really raining, it would still be raining!

The officer was on a security detail. He is a member of the police department of Strathclyde, a nearby town, McClellan said.

Bush appears to have relived his teenage years on a bicycle. Crashing into things...disrespecting polie officers...

The president was concerned about the officer's condition, and talked with him for some time after the collision, McClellan said.

A fate worse than death! The poor guy had to talk to George W. Bush for extended periods of time after just being abused on a bicycle by the same man!

[King George Rides a Bike]

London Smackdown

2005-07-06T09:54:00.000-04:00

The entire city of New York is breathing a sigh of relief today as it was announced that London has triumphed over NYC to win the 2012 Olympic bid. I could kind of care less, because not many people have realized that's in six years. I'm glad it's not going to be in New York, though. What with the West Side Stadium and traffic and I'm sure we would probably have to invite Canada... it's just easier to let the Brits shoulder all that.

(Cross posted at BNN)

[Onward to Olympia!]

Spam Roundup: The Free Car Edition

2005-07-06T09:37:00.000-04:00

-We'll give you a FREE CAR! (providing, of course, that you pay for it.)

-Online seex cams with hot gilrs included!

-Cialis- at a new "duty-free" price!

-Donate to the charity to protect Angelina Jolie

-"Save your money by buying this thing here!"

-Don't be a victim! Protect yourself with... online strippers!

[Spam on Toast]

Kaiser Chiefs

2005-07-05T21:37:00.000-04:00

Sorry about the minimal posting today. I was mostly preoccupied with listening to the amazing Kaiser Chiefs, a British rock band I only just discovered today while watching the replays of Live 8. I believe they were the opening act in Philly and quite miraculous both live and recorded. Give them a listen and check out the hilarious lyrics which you may or may not be able to discern based on the accented vocals.

[Kaiser This!]

The Disclaimer to End All Disclaimers

2005-07-05T12:18:00.000-04:00

TomCruiseIsNuts.com (via Salon):

Our use of the term "nuts" is meant, as defined in Webster's, as a reference to an "eccentric" person. That's all. We do not mean to in any way denigrate or belittle anyone with mental illness. In fact, we take mental illness very serously, which is why Mr. Cruise's ill-informed rant inspired us to create this website. We don't have anything personally against Mr. Cruise, either. We think he's a first-class actor and a humanitarian. We did used to worry that he was a misguided zealot, but that's all. Now we think he's a dangerous, misguided zealot.

In other words, Tom Cruise is not so much 'nuts' as he is 'a dangerous, misguided zealot.' But that was already taken. (TomCruiseIsADangerousMisguidedZealot.com)

[Cruisin' for a Usin']

Ukrainian Vampire

2005-07-04T02:12:00.000-04:00

Telegraph:

A vampire has been arrested in Ukraine after luring street children into her home for their blood.

Rather amusing idea, isn't it?

Diana Semenuha, 29, believed that drinking blood could fend off a muscle-wasting condition.

Blood is something of a miracle drug. I would venture to say that without it, I wouldn't be alive today.

She kept the children intoxicated on drugs and alcohol and bled them regularly, selling the surplus to other black magic practitioners. When that weakened them, she dumped them back on the streets and lured replacements with the promise of a place to sleep and a hot meal.

I've done worse for a place to sleep and a hot meal... oh damn-- I can't use my Jacko joke after just defending him yesterday...

Police raided Semenuha's apartment in the Black Sea port of Odessa after a tip-off.

Olga Buravceva, a spokesman, said: "The apartment was painted black, with all the windows covered with thick black cloth to stop natural light coming in. The only light came from black candles, and there was a heavy, sickening odour of some sort of incense in the air."

Get Room Raiders on the phone!

Detectives found seven drugged children strapped to beds and benches, and a large, black knife and silver goblet engraved with satanic symbols.

'I've never seen them before in my life! ... yes, the goblet's mine...'

Ukraine has an estimated 200,000 street children, whose widespread addiction to glue sniffing and alcohol made them easy prey for the woman dubbed the "vampire witch" by local media.

Somehow 'street children' sounds a lot more mysterious and romantic than say... underage hobos?

Semenuha's arrest exposed an occult network in the city. Many claimed to have been taught by Semenuha and said that she would cut herself and let them drink her blood.

War on Drugs and Terror be damned! It's time to kick off a world-wide War on Blood!

...

Semenuha, who when arrested gave her profession as "witch", has admitted holding the children. "I let them sniff glue, but I paid for it and took a small amount of blood in return," she said. "But there was no violence involved, I also fed them and gave them shelter."

I think we can safely assume they'll go straight to sentencing... if you're trying to appear honest, you don't admit to everything they've accused you of and then come back with 'but I fed them leftovers and let them sleep on the pull-out.'

Police fear that she could escape prosecution for corrupting minors and plying them with alcohol because the seven children found at her home have since escaped from care and gone back on the streets.

...No comment...(sigh)...

(Cross posted at BNN)

[Type AB+ Cocktails]

Concise.

2005-07-02T20:52:00.000-04:00

(Smoking Gun)

Short and sweet. Period.

[A Passing of the... Lit Stick of Dynamite]

A Leak in the Pipes

2005-07-02T19:10:00.000-04:00

Here's a story that I'm just discovering which I feel merits a post of its own:

The White House will cooperate with the Justice Department in its initial inquiry into who leaked the classified identity of a CIA operative, but will not launch an internal probe and will not ask for an independent investigation, a spokesman said Monday.

(CNN) via AMERICAblog

Isn't that kind of like when the cops come charging into a suspect's house and the wife answers the door, sees it's the police and backs up with her hands in the sky, proclaiming that she 'didn't do it'? I don't know, maybe I just watch too many COPS reruns...

McClellan said that if anyone at the White House leaked Plame's identity, he should be fired, and pursued to the "fullest extent."

Release the hounds!

But it does seem like here Mickey C is threatening the WH employees? He will personally can them and then "pursue them to the fullest extent." That's sounds a little mob-esque to me. I don't know. I mean, what's he going to do? Hunt down their extended family and bludgeon them with a microphone?

(Cross posted at BNN)

[Call a Plumber]

So Here We Are

2005-07-02T17:52:00.000-04:00

Hey hey hey!

Back from a (much) longer than anticipated vacation! Infinite thanks to Ang for shouldering the writing duties in my absence. And if any of you ever feel the urge to let your voices be heard right here on the Fry, feel free to contact me at dailyfry@gmail.com (spammers be damned). Just slap "guest blogging" in the subject line and I'll be able to set you up with a premium, exclusive, all-inclusive, super-duper, and all-that-jazz guest blogger account so you too can become a part of the Family of Fry (Fry Fam? Blog Buddies? The rarely-seen-and-even-more-rarely-talked-to Cousin Earls? What do you folks think?) Whatever says I.

Anyhoo, watching the Live 8 concert(s) via AOL Music, which I strongly recommend you check out. For those of you who don't know what this is, (very few, I would imagine...), it's a string of huge concerts taking place simentaneously all over the world (Philly, Rome, Moscow, Berlin, London, Paris, Toronto, Tokyo, and Johannesburg(?? not sure on the spelling of this one.)) to raise awareness among the G8 leaders about the poverty and disease- stricken state of Africa. A worthy cause, and some great tunes to go along with it? Now that's my bag. (The concerts are also available live on MTV and VH1 if you're still among the dial-up drones. It's a follow-up to the 1985 Live Aid concerts in London and Philadelphia also intended to raise awareness of the poor condition of Africa.

[prepare for rapid subject change]
While I was away Little Miss O'Connery gone and 'retired' (read: 'kamikazied in order to grant her position to a right wing nut job.') from the Supreme Court. Surprisingly, Rehnquist has yet to announce plans of retirement (and/or death...).

And that's the news for now. I'm sure I'll think of something I forgot and have to update later...

UPDATE: See? I told you! Okay, I don't think the outcome of Michael Jackson's child molestation trial were ever published here. (Probably for the best as I have the feeling Ang's opinions on this story radically differ from mine.) I'm actually glad he got off the hook. After more-or-less following the entire course of the trial (although not on here as I didn't think at the time I was ready to cover it), I have come to the conclusion that the man is only guilty of being deprived of his childhood. He's creepy as hell, sure... but since when is that a crime? I think he should get some serious counseling and whatnot, but jail is certaintly not the answer.

With that said, Ang is more than welcome to drop her $0.02 into the jar regarding this case.

UPDATE: Ang did indeed drop by and had this to say:

Regarding Michael Jackson ... here was my take ...

Weirdo - Yes
Am I a fan of MJ - No
Slept in same bed as kid - Yes
Touched kid in way he shouldn't have - No

And in a completely unrelated field, I found a Technorati badge (which I can't get to display for some reason) for Live 8! Hoorah!

[All That and the Kitchen Sink]

Join 4th of July Guantanamo Action

2005-07-01T01:10:00.000-04:00

CCR

Help CCR spearhead the fight to seek justice for the hundreds of men and minors who have languished at Guantánamo for more than three years and to seek redress for the abuse and torture many have suffered at the hands of military interrogators and private contractors there, at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, in Afghanistan and at secret detention facilities around the world.

CCR is fighting to put an end to the Bush Administration's abuse of executive power and unlawful practices like extraordinary rendition - where torture and interrogation are literally outsourced to other countries. CCR is fighting to bring back the rule of law. Working outside the courtroom, CCR is mobilizing activists and raising awareness of these critical issues through education, the press, public readings and a variety of web-based actions. You can help put an end to the abuses at Guantánamo by joining in the actions below.

Please help spread the word around!

[Guantanamo]

How low can you go ...

2005-06-28T00:53:00.000-04:00

Poll: Disapproval of Bush at high point

The number of Americans disapproving of President Bush's job performance has risen to the highest level of his presidency, according to the CNN/USA Today/Gallup poll released Monday.

And this comes as a shock to no one.

And personal responsibility falls where??

2005-06-27T18:18:00.000-04:00

File-sharing services could be liable for theft, high court rules

In a major victory for the entertainment industry, the Supreme Court this morning ruled that file-sharing companies could be held liable when people use their products to download copyrighted movies and music from the Internet.

And where does personal responsibility fall into the equation?? At some point people need to be held responsible for their own actions.

I think today's ruling could just create a mess. And will it really solve anything?

Downing Street Memo ...

2005-06-22T02:52:00.000-04:00

Big Brass Alliance

Be sure to drop by here for the latest updates.

And the next move is ??

2005-06-18T14:17:00.000-04:00

Congressmen probe Iraq war memo

A group of US congressmen has held an informal hearing into a memo that suggests President George Bush decided on the Iraq war months in advance.

Come on ... we all know he decided this long ago ... so what's next ... what can be done?? Anyone?? Or are we just screwed??

HA! to the lame duck ...

2005-06-15T23:34:00.000-04:00

House Votes to Limit Patriot Act Rules

In a slap at President Bush, lawmakers voted Wednesday to block the Justice Department and the FBI from using the Patriot Act to peek at library records and bookstore sales slips.

And a slap at anything he does is always a good thing!

International Weblogger's Day

2005-06-14T19:49:00.000-04:00

HaInternational Weblogger's Day. ppned to check my calendar and noticed it was International Weblogger's Day. Sure it's a mouthful, but it looks vaguely interesting.

Check it out I suppose.

Epic 2015

2005-06-12T13:17:00.000-04:00

If you haven't watched this yet, you really should. It's an amazing picture of the technology the future could yield and surprisingly enough, you'll find it's all very feasible. Anyhoo, cool stuff, check it out. [via Albino]

[Cool Beans]

Vacation!

2005-06-08T17:52:00.000-04:00

Getting ready for a streneous (and stressful) series of events about to take place so I almost definitely won't be blogging for a about a week or two. Sorry, but real life takes precedence sometimes.

[Vacation!]

Fisk Me: Don't Know 'bout Guantanamo

2005-06-06T18:07:00.000-04:00

'Don't know for sure' about Guantanamo: Amnesty USA
By Lori Santos

Despite highly publicized charges of U.S. mistreatment of prisoners at Guantanamo,
the head of the Amnesty International USA said on Sunday the group
doesn't "know for sure" that the military is running a
"gulag."

Curious... Go on.

Executive Director
William Schulz said Amnesty, often cited worldwide for documenting
human rights abuses, also did not know whether Secretary Defense
Secretary Donald Rumsfeld approved severe torture methods such as
beatings and starvation.

You want to find someone who
actually knows something?
Y'know to contribute to the story or something crazy like that?
No? OK...

Schulz recently
dubbed Rumsfeld an "apparent high-level architect of torture" in
asserting he approved interrogation methods that violated
international law.

Lemme get this straight: The man
recently called Rumsfeld a "high-level architect of torture" yet you
lead off with "beats me?" What's the bigger story?

"It would be
fascinating to find out. I have no idea," Schulz told "Fox News
Sunday."

It would be just so "fascinating" if
you could give me something besides "I dunno."

A dispute has raged
since Amnesty last month compared the prison for foreign terrorism
suspects at the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to the vast,
brutal Soviet gulag system of forced labor camps in which millions of
prisoners died.

The organization compared a military
base to a Soviet work camp? But they still "don't know" anything?

A leading Democratic U.S. senator on Sunday repeated his call for a
full investigation and said the detention center should be
closed.

"The end result is,
I think we should end up shutting it down, moving those prisoners.
Those that we have reason to keep, keep. And those we don't, let go,"
Sen. Joseph Biden of Delware told ABC's "This Week."

So do we know something yet,
or....

There have been a
number of accusations of American mistreatment of the detainees and of
the Koran, the Islamic holy book, at the base.

Now we're getting somewhere...

The U.S. military on
Friday released details about five cases top officials said were among
only 10 reported over the course of more than 28,000 prisoner
interrogations.

And we all know how good the
U.S. military is about reporting prisoner abuse.

Schulz said, "We
don't know for sure what all is happening at Guantanamo and our whole
point is that the United States ought to allow independent human
rights organizations to investigate."

"We really don't know anything
for sure... Maybe/Maybe not... It would be fascinating to find out..."
Get these people off their talking points!

He also said he had
"absolutely no idea" whether the International Red Cross had been
given access to all prisoners and said the group feared others were
being held at secret facilities or locations.

Does anyone know anything!?
Nevermind... don't answer that.

President Bush, Vice President
Dick Cheney and, most recently, Rumsfeld have repudiated the Amnesty
report.

The United States
holds about 520 men at Guantanamo, where they are denied rights
accorded under international law to prisoners of war. Many have been
held without charge for more than three years.

And yet no one wants to go on
record saying this is ga bad thing?

Schulz noted that it
was Amnesty's headquarters in London that issued the annual report on
global human rights, which said Guantanamo Bay "has become the gulag
of our times."

But they don't know for sure...

Asked about the
comparison, Schulz said, "Clearly this is not an exact or a literal
analogy."

But it is one that you made!
Back it up!

"... But there are
some similarities. The United States is maintaining an archipelago of
prisons around the world, many of them secret prisons into which
people are being literally disappeared ... And in some cases, at
least, we know that they are being mistreated, abused, tortured and
even killed."

So you wanna denounce this or
what?

"And whether the
Americans like it or not, it does reflect how the more than 2 million
Amnesty members in a hundred countries around the world and indeed the
vast majority of those countries feel about the United States'
detention policy," he said.

How do you feel? Say something
of revelence!

Biden added: "More Americans are
in jeopardy as a consequence of the perception that exists worldwide
with its existence than if there were no (Guantanamo)."

On the whole, Lori Santos did a
mediocre job of covering this story. She didn't get anyone off of
their talking points and seeing as Mr. Schulz's talking point was
"Torture is bad but I know nothing." that is an extremely bad thing.
So minus ten points for that.

However, bonus points for making Amnesty International USA look
like a joke in the proccess. Coming away from this article I would
assume they're a bunch of jokers who put on a good face like they want
to prevent tortue but when asked to give a solid quote, don't know
anything.

She could've presented some of the facts as to the evidence of prison
abuse and torture to make Amnesty look like an even bigger fool and
the adminstration to look like an even bigger ass, but she chose not
to. So I'm going to have to dock her a few points for that...

After all is said and done, this article was a 4 out of 10. Better luck next time,
Lori.

(Cross posted at BNN)

[Fisk You!]

Kiss Up & Criticize... Sisterhood of Traveling Pants

2005-06-04T14:53:00.000-04:00

* * * 1/2 (out of 5)

Went to see this obvious chick flick with some chums last night. During the course of the movie, realized that it was actually a pretty decent picture!

The basic premise is that a group of lifelong friends are about to go their different ways for one summer. They find a "magic" pair of jeans that as by miracle, fit them all, and form a "sisterhood" in which they will send the jpants back and forth to one another all summer. It's a lame concept, I agree, but nonetheless well carried out. Pretty emotional movie if you're the emotional type, I suppose, as there was scattered sniffling during some scenes in the theatre we were at. Not Kleenex-worthy anyway, but very sad in parts.

Funny in parts as well, but lets face it: It's a complete chick flick and not even a great date movie. Alas...

(Cross posted at BNN)

[Yay for Pants]

Leave Me Threadless

2005-06-03T23:50:00.000-04:00

Threadless- a perpetual t-shirt design contestwhere the winners get printed. Some great designs at great prices! And I'm only saying this because I love them!

Sorry about the lack of posting today. Busy busy busy...

[Nude No More]

Roundup: The 'California is the Next Florida' Edition

2005-06-02T17:53:00.000-04:00

-Mudslides plague California neighborhood, Florida gets to kick back and relax for a few more weeks. -CBC

-Dutch Gov't: "No thanks." -laT

-IPDI doesn't really care for bloggers. Then again, bloggers don't really care for IPDI. We're even. -dKos

-spelling Bee champ feeling "pure happiness." Greater Washington D.C. area feeling "pure relief" that the geeks are finally leaving. -ABC

-North Korea just realizing Cheny is "a bloodthirsty beast." -Reuters
In response to his blatant vampiric tendencies, called six-party talks off. -CSMonitor

[A cornucopia of Magnificent Offerings]

All Things Awesome

2005-06-01T20:19:00.000-04:00

James K. Wong is a genius. Check out his must see gallery where he displays retro sci-fi pop art. (via Screenhead)

The Gyroid, one example from a gallery very cool physical math models (via BoingBoing)

[Timewasters & Eye-candy]

'Deep Throat' got a 'Big Mouth'

2005-05-31T22:58:00.000-04:00

I jest, I jest. W. Mark Felt has every right to be proud that he brought down the most courrupt administration in Amer-- oh... well, second most corrupt anyway.

Something I'm a little concerned about is his nickname, "Deep Throat"... I double-checked just to make sure, but he was actually named after the porn flick. Which leads you to believe Bob Woodward was extremely sex-crazed during this time period.

I am a little disappointed that the leak turned out not to be Diane Sawyer, because how funny would that have been? I mean really?

(Cross posted at BNN)

BlogRatingz

2005-05-31T18:06:00.000-04:00

(Note: Shameless plug to follw...)

Rate the Fry at the new blog rating site, BlogRatingz.com, and while you're there, why not add your own blog?

On a more personal, and completely unrelated note, I recently started one of my rewards from BzzAgent "The Best Time to Do Everything" by Michael Kaplan, and am quite enjoying it. I feel kind of bad not doing the weekly book review anymore, so I thought I'd recommend this one to you.

Back to the scheduled programming.

Headline Scan: The Military Love Edition

2005-05-31T16:40:00.000-04:00

Much of the headlines focus around Memorial day festivities as well as Bush's promise to "pursue peace" as a favor to the fallen. That's right. We'll pursue peace by waging war. Good idea, big guy.

But D'OH! It looks like we might of...accidently, mind you... captured a prominet Sunni leader and held him. -- Our... bad?

And the most important tidbit of the day (via NYP): Paris Hilton is marrying some guy named Paris, isn't that hilarious?

[Rags & Such]

Three Cheers for Voinovich

2005-05-31T00:03:00.000-04:00

Senator George Voinovich (R) recently delivered an extremely emotional speech on the Senate floor denouncing George bolton as the U.N. nominee. In this act of career suicide, most like, he presented most likely the most heartfelt take on the nomination we have seen thus far. And coming from a Republican, this is most remarkable.

So I applaud him for the obviously heartrending emotions he displayed in his brief speech which is most liley much to late to change any minds, but still one of the most complately heartfelt messages from a senator that we will ever see. I suggest watching it and checking out the discussion centering around the clip, and more specifically the 'intern' figure in the background at the ever-popular BAGNewsNotes.

Regarding the "Bolton & Blubberin'" caption on this screen capture taken from MSNBC's coverage: The best way to describe it would be in the words of Pepper on the BAG boards:

That goddam "blubberin'" title was sickening. Goddam bunch of feigning macho assholes, the media.

Well put.

[A Rare Act of Truth...from Congress?!?!]

Happy Memorial Day

2005-05-30T23:54:00.000-04:00

I'll take this opputunity to display the American flag in a completely unsarcastic way. I'll be damned if this isn't a first.

In all seriousness, please today think of the sacrifices the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have been willing to give. Whether for the right reasons, or the wrong,we are over there and they are putting their lives on the line every day in hopes of protecting us. So thank you.

[Waxing Patriotic]

Aren't Search Engines Dandy?

2005-05-30T21:02:00.000-04:00

You've got to wonder how dissappointed someone must've been when they Googled catwoman cheerleaders and got Daily Fry. I've grown quite upsessed with these search engine results lately, so do excuse any repetition.

How to Cheat Death the FOX Way

2005-05-28T14:41:00.000-04:00

via FOX News:

1. Use your instincts; if a situation appears suspicious, leave the scene.

"Leave the scene"- American for "run away."

2. Don't become complacent; never let your guard down, no matter where you travel.

Blue states aren't the only places people want to hurt you.

3. Don't rely solely on the government to provide you with crisis or threat information -- do your own research, too.

In fact, don't rely on the government. Period.

4. Have a plan on where/when to meet family members in case of attack; map assorted evacuation routes from home/work.

Yes. Notify all family members of the emergency plan. But leave the black sheep child out of the loop.

5. Keep extra copies of your passport/birth certificate/ Social Security cards, other records. Keep copies in storage or with relatives, friends. Carry copy of passport when traveling overseas.

If the whole world is destroyed in nuclear warfare, at least you'll have your birth certificate in Aunt Milly's steamer trunk.

6. Never check luggage at curbside check-in at airports; carry luggage on board with you, if possible; carry as few bags as possible.

Unless you yourself are a terrorist.

7. Spend as little time at the airport as possible; avoid heavily glassed areas.

Windows are Satan.

8. When flying, wear comfortable clothing and shoes in case you need to quickly evacuate.

Also, try not to wear white after Labor Day.

9. Try to fly on wide-body planes; terrorists often avoid hijacking them.

Whenever possible: walk to your destination.

10. When traveling abroad, don't advertise your corporate affiliation or title on luggage or other items.

Terrorists hate insurance salesmen.

11. When traveling overseas, stay in an American chain hotel; security is usually more stringent.

And God knows no one likes subtitles.

12. When in a foreign country, don't advertise that you're American by speaking loudly, holding up maps, exchanging currency at airports, showing American flags, etc…

In all other scenarios, show American flags wherever possible.

13. Try to avoid crowded areas, especially in large cities; avoid public transportation and major tunnels and bridges during heavy commuting times.

If at all possible, live your entire life in a bomb shelter 200 feet below ground. Never attempt contact with the outside world.

14. Never stay in a hotel with an underground parking garage and never park in such a garage -- terrorists love car bombs.

Terrosrists also love cheesecake. Avoid bakeries at all costs.

15. Stock "safe-haven" rooms in office and home with duct tape, plastic sheets, flashlight, food/water supply, first-aid kit, portable radio and cloth to fill gaps in doors so harmful agents don't seep in.

This procedure also helps when your mother-on-law is cooking dinner.

16. Store a decent amount of cash someplace in case ATMs malfunction.

Store a decent amount Cheetos there, too. Y'know, in case vending machines... aww, never mind.

17. Carefully inspect mail before opening; check for return address, postmark, excessive postage, etc…

If it's from MoveOn, burn it immediately.

18. Never take the first taxicab in line; hail a moving cab instead.

First is the worst, second is too, take the moving cab: it won't kill you.

19. If ever a hostage on a plane, never make eye contact with captors, speak unless spoken to, or do anything to bring attention to yourself; familiarize yourself with typical airline hijackings.

Practice makes perfect.

20. Know what to do in case of a biological, chemical or nuclear attack in terms of symptoms, decontamination, etc…

Hint: Windex.

21. Keep an eye out for unattended items when using mass transit or in airports.

If you see an unattended item, attempt to find its owner. If this is not possible, take the bag on the plane with you to try to locate the owner.

22. Only carry essential money cards and identification.

Too many credit cards in your wallet will weigh you down when you are attempting to run awa-- er, "leave the scene."

23. When traveling abroad, read local newspapers to pinpoint dangers there; check the State Department's travel advisories.

But always... always read the New York Post. Because if you're about to be bombed out of your skull, isn't it best to know who Brad Pitt is dating this week?

24. Pay attention to: surroundings; someone paying an usual amount of attention to a prominent landmark; someone nervous or jumpy or trying to access off-limit areas; someone trying to hide something.

Immediately report to the authorities anyone looking at a Natioanl Monument for more than a few seconds. If they start taking pictures, don't waste time: Tackle them yourself.

25. Make out a will and letter of instruction in case you die. Get fingerprinted, get your blood samples and obtain dental X-rays so your body can be identified in case you fall victim to attack.

Also, try your best to leave a good-looking corpse as a courtesy to the television-watching public.

26. Do not live or work in a highly urban area that most likely would be a terrorist's target, such as New York City, Washington, D.C., or San Francisco.

Terrorsits just loathe show tunes, politicians, and gays.

(Cross posted at BNN)

Friday Random Ten

2005-05-27T18:52:00.000-04:00

New MP3 player = New feature... In the fashion of Feministe and many others, it's FRIDAY RANDOM TEN!

1) Wild Rock Music -Smash
2) The Boxer -Fujikato
3) BitOBoss -Unknown (to me, anyway.)
4) Enron's Got the Power -DJ Twombly
5) I'm Comin' Down -Act of Dog
6) Take Your Mama Fighting -Toneblender
7) Stay With A Genie -GHP
8) Toxic Trent -Nathan Chase
9) Boulevard of Broken Songs -Party Ben
10) Big Rock Candy Mountain -Harry McClintock

(Links to *legal* downloads provided where available)

[Life is Random]

Headline Scan: The "They're All Losers" Edition

2005-05-26T19:55:00.000-04:00

Judging by the bold print in today's headlines, some people care that Carrie won American Idol last night. Just not me.

The big thing this year that had a lot of people tuning in (Well, it wasn't for the music, now was it?) was the Vote for the Worst campaign, but they forgot: "How do they decide who is the worse when they're all so bad?

[Idle]

Gigantic Catfish Caught

2005-05-26T19:40:00.000-04:00

AP:

A record 124-pound blue catfish caught earlier this week by an Illinois man fishing in the Mississippi River died on its way to the Cabela's Outfitter store where it was to go on display.

Tim Pruitt, 33, of Godfrey, Ill., caught the world-record blue catfish early Sunday near Alton.

The fish, measuring 58 inches long and 44 inches around, was kept alive and was to be displayed in a tank at Cabela's in Kansas City, Kan., but it died en route to the store.

"We're baffled by this," Fred Cronin, a fisheries biologist for the Illinois Department of Natural Resources, told The Kansas City Star. "We took a lot of precautions to see that the fish was comfortable.

"But we're talking about a fish that was very old, very heavy," he said. "The stress of being transported like that could have been too much."

Death by redneck.
What a way to go.

[Fish Story]

Headline Scan: The Progress Edition

2005-05-24T09:27:00.000-04:00

Much hubbub today about the Senate actually doing something today by agreeing to preserve the filibuster rules and clearing the path for votes on three judicial nominees. Well, yahoo, but don't get your hopes up just yet centrists. Because, you see, the Senate hasn't really made any actual progress. Moreover, they've merely cleared out of the way a disagreement that had been disguising their lack of work as steps being taken to produce work. Unfortunately, some effort is occasionally required if you want to be a Senator. I weep for them.

[Rags & Such]

Headline Scan: The Heckler Edition

2005-05-23T09:34:00.000-04:00

Another moment of realization in today's papers: When the wife of the most hated man ~~in the Middle East~~ ~~overseas~~ in the world goes to the Middle East daytripping, people get riled up! Who'da thunk it!?

News of a tragic Coney Island plane crash that killed 4 this weekend comes with the realization that angry Iraqis aren't the only forces seeking our demise. Gravity, for one. The nation has been walking on a better-than-thou, I'm-an-American-so-feel-bad-for-me cloud of holiness for quite a while, and it's time the bubble burst.

In sportly happenings, Afleet Alex wins the Preakness... Yipee...

Oh, and did you know there's a war on? Imagine!

[Rags & Such]

A Conference with the Almighty

2005-05-22T12:28:00.000-04:00

Frist: Alright, Darla, it's time for me to leave you now.
Girl: Not yet Billy! What will I do without you?
Frist: You'll find someone else, Darla, stay strong. I'm going to God.
Girl: Please... William!
Frist: I've got to do it, Darla. I've got a meeting with the Lord.
Girl: (weeping in such a way that her hair becomes matted to her face by the salinity of her trickling tears) BILL!
Frist: It's time. (steps through door)
Girl: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (faints)

[Satan's Accomplice]

Headline Scan: The Homecoming Edition

2005-05-20T19:54:00.000-04:00

Still struggling to stay daily after all this time...

(NOTE: Ok, I've know I've ran out of excusable abscenses, but this time I was actually very ill and the most I could do was defend the Fry from the extremely one desperate hacker who keeps figuring out my password and posting his right-wing writings on my blog. Sorry for the inconvenience. I nkow you don't you don't forgive me anyway, but...)

Obviously much of the paper buzz today centers on the release of the sixth and final installment of the Star Wars series. Aparently, the movie is quite good and performed extremly well at its midnight debut, grossing a good $50 million. Some concerns are being raised due to the "political" nature of Lucas's latest. Scattered conservatives claim the movie slams President Bush through comparison to Darth Vader. They claim Vader's "If you are not with me, you are against me" quote in the movie is much like Bush's "If you are not with us, you are with the terrorists."

What these people fail to realize is that this comparison is frightengly accurate. Both men in question are evil, rutheless, and power-hungry self-appointed kings of their domain. So perhaps we can actually learn by this supposed comparison rather than yell at Lucas.

[Rags & Such]

Spam Roundup: It's an Original Replica!

2005-05-15T13:24:00.000-04:00

-High quality authentic, orginal Rolex replicas available cheap!

-Keys to Being a Business Success... Key Number One: Online Dating and You.

-Hi, I'm looking for "criedmuller"

-Surplus Office Software-- er, fell off the back of a truck.

-I'm inviting you and four million others to my exclusive, private investment group.

-Make a thousand dollars a day! ...sending spam

[Spam on Toast]

U.S. Senator got more than he bargained for when he stopped off to buy shoes

2005-05-14T19:41:00.000-04:00

Today, Sen. Bill Frist got what was coming to him today when he went out to overpay on a new pair of kicks at the shoe store directly beneath the offices of Americans United to Protect Social Security.

Smoooth.

Exiting the store, he was hounded by dozens of protestors in quite possibly one of the most ironically knee-slap-worthy moment of... well, today at least.

Stuck in the Mud

2005-05-14T18:47:00.000-04:00

The Mars Rover is currently the subject of much attention as it is... trapped in a sand dune...

It's hilarious just to watch someone living in a world plagued by war, famine, murder, terror, etc. to fret so much over a hunk of junk stuck in a sand dune 35 million miles away.

(NOTE: In no way am I undermining the importance of space exploration. It's only that it's very funny that Americans are still accident-prone tens of millions of miles away.

Unintentionally Hilarious Article of the Day

2005-05-12T18:42:00.000-04:00

Reuters:

Spain's Miguel Angel Martin was disqualified from the British Open on Thursday after television replays showed him improving his stance on a shot by standing on a tree.

Martin had signed for a one-under-par 71 before the video evidence came to light when the European Tour's chief referee John Paramor was alerted by a television viewer.

"Miguel Angel Martin has been disqualified for failing to include a penalty in his score," Paramor said.

"He breached Rule 13-2 on the second shot on the ninth hole when he took a stance on a small sapling which he felt may injure him as it had small thorns on it.

"However, as he could have taken his stance in another manner, without treading on the sapling, he incurs a penalty of two strokes."

Martin could have avoided being thrown out if he had been warned that he had to add the two strokes, but Paramor only found out about the incident after the Spaniard had signed his card wrongly.

Apparently, the fine sport of golf was sick of being overshadowed by competitors such as baseball and football due to controversy. So it made a half-hearted (and ill-fated) attempt to regain its once-renown position as "the most scandalous of all competitive activities", with chess coming in a close second.

In other news, golf is found to be the most ridiculously boring game in the universe.

(Cross posted at BNN)

[Be A Sport]

Fun with Google

2005-05-10T16:49:00.000-04:00

Just thought I'd enlighten you all with this little nugget of knowledge that has recently come onto my possesion:

Daily Fry currently ranks seventh on Google for the phrase "michael strahan mistress" (without quotes,) and sixth for "area 51 green circles" and even higher after this post. Also, on Yahoo! I'm the eleventh result for "how to make pretend reading glasses" . Not even really sure what they were looking for, but these people will be dissappointed to know that I know very little oabout green circles, can't figure out why you would need fake reading glasses, and am not a mistress of any kind.... unless you count that one time I-- Nevermind. No mistresses here. Sorry.

[Gentlemen, Start Your Search Engines]

Who Would Jesus Sue?

2005-05-09T21:25:00.000-04:00

That seems to be the question at the tip of everyone's tounge as one Jesus Christ is fighting a legal battle for the right to drive. Christ's attorney claims that he changed his name as an expression of his faith, but that the baby-eating atheist hellions want him dead... and without a license. Oh, wait... Hmmm. That last part is apparently... not true. It would kind of spice things up, though. Don't you think?

But apparently Jesus is quite worked up about this case already, as he is threatening to smite if his demands are not met. Me? I'm in the middle of sacrificing my sixth goat in a row as I type this. Y'know, just to be safe...

(Cross posted at BNN)

Technically Not Torture

2005-05-08T16:42:00.000-04:00

AP:

Many of the accounts detailing abuse of detainees in Iraq, Afghanistan and Guantanamo Bay by American military and civilian personnel don't meet the definition of torture, U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said.

Gonzales, who grew up in Houston, said Congress requires proving that intentional infliction of severe physical and mental pain or suffering occurred to have a prosecutable case of torture.

"Congress intended a very high bar here in order to be prosecuted for engaging in torture," he said Friday during a visit to Houston. "There may be conduct that you may find offensive that falls far short of torture."

Translation: We're quite fond of loopholes. They come in handy in times like these.

[We Do Torture. Best Torture.]

Happy Mother's Day

2005-05-08T16:34:00.000-04:00

To my mother, and the rest of youse. Have a good one.

[I Heart Mom]

Kiss Up & Criticize.... "Burka Blue"

2005-05-07T12:59:00.000-04:00

"Burka Blue" by the first-ever all-girl Afghanistan group: The Burka Band, while sporting the "first-ever" bragging rights displays arguably rudimentary lyrics (e.g. They rhyme "blue" with "too" at least a dozen times.) albeit a rather catchy tune.

The lyrics are all in English, which is in all likeliness the band's second language, so the AAAAAA al infinitum rhyme scheme is understandable. Although their accents are extremely good assuming this is their second language. Speaking of lyrics, some of them seem rather inflaming due to the band's ethnic and religious background (in fact, all members of the band wear head-to-toe burkas at all times). Such as: "You give me all your love. You give me all your kisses./And then you touch my burka and do not know who is it." or "My auntie wears a burka, my uncle does it too./My sister doesn't like it, but she must wear her's too."

All in all, it's great for a quick listen, downloadable material? Maybe. But be warned: This tune will keep you up at night.

(Cross posted at BNN)

[Kiss Up & Criticize]

Death to Blogger

2005-05-06T21:30:00.000-04:00

Yea.

I said it.

I haven't complained too much about this wonderful publishing service of mine, but this is just too much. I had two half-complete stories in my draft folder yesterday, and today they're gone. They were long stories, too. We're not talking about some blurb I can just write up again. It's a lost cause now as I can't remember half of it anyway and by the time I do it will cease to be "news." Just thought I'd let you know why the afore-promised stories haver not been delivered.

Sorry for the inconvenience... I'm probably a lot more pissed off than you, though.

[I Shall Burn Their Servers in Effigy]

This Isn't in English!

2005-05-06T21:06:00.000-04:00

AP:

President Bush said he likes to use the Mexican holiday Cinco de Mayo to practice his Spanish, but this year he's practicing his arithmetic.

Bush poked fun at himself in front of about 200 people gathered in the Rose Garden for the White House celebration on May 4, one day before the holiday marking the Mexican troops' defeat of a French army on May 5, 1862.

"My only problem this year is I scheduled the dinner on cuatro de mayo," Bush said. "Next year I'm going to have to work on my math."

Smoooooth. The thing is, no one told him "cinco"=5? I mean, parties like this pass through several people I would imagine. No one thought to bring up the fact that they were scheduling it for the wrong day? The mariachi band, surely, had to know they were celebrating Cinco de Mayo on the fourth. Or is everyone associated with the White House absolutely clueless? Never mind... don't answer that. (sigh.)

[The Latest Nugget of Wisdom to Find its Way Down From the White House]
[Muy bien, eh?]

It's Coming

2005-05-04T21:21:00.000-04:00

I know I know, LBS again, right? Wrong. Actually, I've been working (around Blogger's server problems of late) on a couple large stories that are currently in my draft folder awaiting finishing touches, so patience, kay? I should get something up by the day after tomorrow, because tomorrow I'm taking the day off to go to Great Adventure.

("Hi, my name's Green and I'm an adreneline junkie. I've been roller coaster- free for nigh on five months, but I fel a relapse coming on.")

Try to get on with your life without me. It'll be tough, but I have confidence in you. While your anxiously awaiting my return, how's about you check out the oncoming End of the World?

Attack of the Ads!

2005-05-01T18:25:00.000-04:00

Blogger News Network (a blogger news group I belong to) is now offering ad space for your blog at just 10 bucks a pop for an entire month (for a text ad, graphics are gonna set you back an additional 10). Anywho, buy some ad space... pretty please?

JeffJames on Bill Maher

2005-04-30T19:24:00.000-04:00

Jeff Gannon, I'm sorry... James Guckert... no wait..Jeff--er, in any case, the guy appeared on Real Time with Bill Maher Friday night. Our analysis of the interview:

Maher- "You saw the President's--Bush's press conference last night, you used to be in that press room... What did you think? What questions would you have asked?"

JJ- "Well I--I probably would have asked a question about, uh, border security... there's, uh... we've got a terrible problem on the Southern border, and, uh, the Minuteman Project that was just taking place there, uh, last month was very effective in, uh, stemming the tide of illegals, and, uh... I think that the President should've gotten behind it, and, uh, he should be asked why he hasn't been." Uh, I would've asked the President why he isn't endorsing Mexican hunting.

Maher- "So you would've asked him a tough question..." Um, you're lying I assume?

JJ- "Absolutely. I've asked lots of tough questions." In front of the mirror at home some times, y'know, just for kicks...

...
...

Maher- "Why do you think, of all the--I mean, that's one of the most exclusive clubs in the world, the twenty or thirty people who get to sit there and ask the Leader of the Free World a question directly... Why do you think you were selected for that?" Who exactly did you have to sleep with to get into the press room?

JJ- "Well, there's lots of people who have that opportunity, uh, from various news services. Look, I'm--I'm a journalist, and I was able to be in the room and ask the questions." Acting more like a politician every day this guy: He's figured out how to answer a question without answering the question at all.

Maher- "But why among the thousands of journalists did they select you? I'm just asking..." Yes! Finally an anchor who will call them out on their b.s.

JJ- "Uh, I don't know the answer to that." If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

Maher- "Put it in your own words... about the controversy that had you exiting the press room after you had been there for a while." Don't spare a single juicy detail.

JJ- "Well what had happened was I had the opportunity to ask the President a question, and the question I asked him some liberals disagreed with, and I became "the news" after that and it was impossible for me to contine to be a reporter because I was the news." I lobbed softball questions at the President, feebly attempting to make him and me look good at the same time... Some of those America-hating liberals didn't like that, so I hear.

Maher- "OK, but why was it news? Was it news because you had a...job formally as a-- as an escort?"

JJ- "Well I--there's lots of allegations out there about things in my past and--none of it's relevant as far as my reporting goes."

Maher- "Well, okay... well-- It may not be relevant but I'm just saying, I'm thinking back to the Bill Clinton White House-- I didn't think it mattered that Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky were having an affair... I didn't think it mattered what went on in the White House... but they made a big case of the fact that there were a lot of visits-- (applause) --OK, we know--we know that's how you feel. Thanks you... Uh, but it came out this week, a Freedom of Information Request was granted, and you made three dozen visits, apparently to the White House at times when there were no press briefings going on. On fourteen occasions, the Secret Service had no record of your entry and exit times... What were you doing in the White House?"

JJ- "There's lots of things that go on at the White House when there aren't briefings. Apparently, this is where most of the nation's governing takes place... who knew? I've been to briefings with other administration officials... Condeleeza Rice...Alberto Gonzalez...Andy Card...Dan Bartlett... the infamous Republican name drop. I've gone down to the t-ball games on the South Lawn on Sunday afternoons in the summer. Yea, I was just being a reporter, attending t-ball games and--what!? A lot of times I would go down to the President when he was returning from a trip and stand along the rope line, trying to shout a question... That's what reporters do." Oh, is it? Huh...

Maher- "So all this time when you were in the White House with no press briefings going on... that's what you were doing?"

JJ- "I was being a reporter."

Maher- "OK, so you would say that you're on this show tonight because there was nothing else going on, that you were never engaged in any sort of personal business at the White House with any one who works in the White House?"

JJ- "Absolutely and unequivocally not." Technically, they weren't working...

Maher- "OK, well let's move on to your website "Hot Military Stud .com" (laugher, even from JJ.) What? Well, I didn't make that up, it says... you wrote 'I don't leave marks, only impressions...' (laughter, and scattered "Ooo!"'s) I'm just saying, if the Clinton White House-- if this had happened during the Clinton White House... if there was someone who had this in his past, who was now working in the Clinton White House, with rather dubious credentials, under a false name, don't you think they would have made a bigger thing of it under a Democratic Administration? Don't you think the Republicans would've--(applause) STOP IT!-- Don't you think the Republicans would've been all over that?" He needed to ask?

JJ- "Well, I don't know the answer top that... Here's a hint: say 'yes.' but usually the way it works is people become reporters before they prostitute themselves. (laughter) Natch. Very nice.

Maher- "Touche, Mr. Jim Gannon, (Paraphrasing:) I'm going to the White House Correspondents' Dinner tonight, why aren't you going?" I'm going and you're not na na na na naaaa na!

JJ- "...I was hoping that someone would look at me and say that 'Hey, here's a guy whose brought more attention to the White House Press Corps then they've had in decades, he should definitely be at the dinner.' But..." The attention in question being 'Hey, that WH Press Room is full of gay prostitutes donchaknow.'

Maher- "I would take you myself, but I'm already the date of Wolf Blitzer." (laughter)

The video's here.

E&P Review

(Cross posted at BNN)

[JJ the Jetplane]